Ranger--Where Evil Dwells

  Well this happened fast.  A week ago I had not heard of Helsinki's (yes, two Helsinki bands in a row) Ranger and now I am smitten.  Let's not kid ourselves here, though, this wasn't smitten at first sound.  When I casually skimmed P-Fork's review (yes, also another band discovered via the much mocked Pitchfork.  Props, P-Fork) and gleaned those few key words that piqued my interest (speed metal, NWOBHM, Mustaine) I figured I'd check them out via Spotify.  Alas, the new record wasn't out yet so I plowed through their first EP, "Skull Splitting Metal" and was hit with a "holy shit these guys love Destruction" vibe that took me aback.  Look, Destruction are rad.  But, let's face it, you really have to love Destruction to love Destruction.  Their albums are marred by crazy bad production, cardboard drums, and cartoon tornadoes with the band members heads adorning the top.  And let's not gloss over Marcel "Schmier" Shirmer's screeching vocals (a, let's say, acquired taste).  Therein lied the hesitation as Ranger's own Dimi Pontiac seemed to have acquired that taste.  So, while the EP had the chops, the vocals prevented full immersion.
  Fear not, fine readers, for the full length "Where Evil Dwells" Dimi has cut back on the random squeals (remember how much you wanted to love Exodus's "Bonded By Blood" but Paul Baloff just sounded so goofy?  Yeah, me too).  Oh, he shrieks a-plenty but it feels more in pocket this go round.  And that's the li'l bump this reviewer needed to go from "i just might" to "i fucking do".  The more I listen, the more I feel this would fit in snugly with all the great early 80's speed metal.  But, maybe it wouldn't have been able to exist in '82.
  What's the what, you say?  I say the influences that Ranger wear (Metallica, Destruction, Megadeth) give this record a here and now more than you realize.  Sure, bands like Whiplash were quickly absorbing Metallica's influence by the mid-80's but there is something so fully realized about this record that it feels like it required 30 years to be made.  That's plenty cool with me.  If this came out in '85 it might have gotten lost in the swirling vortex of thrash (I mean, did you know Whiplash was a band when I cited them?  I didn't until a year or so ago myself).  In 2015, this behemoth walks alone. 
  Real quick, let's point out some sweet influences.  "Deadly Feast", track number two, rides along on a straight up "Phantom Lord" riff.  Holy shit, it is so "Phantom Lord" but, next thing you know, it's plugging along on some classic Megadeth "Into The Lungs Of Hell" or second half of "Wake Up Dead" riffage, including a tweaky little guitar lick that screams Mustaine.  In one tune, these guys give us a look at what Metallica may have sounded like if that bus ticket home was never given to Dave.  And what metal album would be complete without just a little Slayer?  None worth it's salt that's for fucking sure.  Dig the intro the 10+ minute title track for some old school Slayer.  And then, blammo, it kicks in and there's Destruction all over the place.  Talk about a metal discharge (OK, Destruction has a record called, embarrassingly, "Metal Discharge" so that joke was just sitting there waiting for me to make and then explain because I'm guessing zero of you would have gotten it without my help).  
  Before you get all "yeah, but, do these guys have their own sound?" on me, let me say "YES THESE GUYS HAVE THEIR OWN SOUND!!!!!!"  They've absorbed these influences and spat out something new.  But sometimes it's easy for a guy like me to give you some cornerstones so you know what you are going to hear.  And maybe, crazy as this may seems, you don't like Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, Destruction, first kisses, model trains, breathing, puppies, Tina Fey, fresh drinking water, burritos, sunsets, the smell of basil, or Caddyshack, and now you know not to bother giving a listen.  Also, I feel sorry for you.  For the rest of you level headed champions, find yourself a copy of this beast.  My vinyl copy is on the way. 

Foreseen--Helsinki Savagery

 

 The entire review for this could just be "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" but you guys know I've got a serious case of wordiness so let's get this mother started.  First, let's give credit where credit is due.  Someone on the Pitchfork staff picked this record on their year end best of metal list and what really caught my eye was when they compared it to Dallas's Power Trip.  So I found it on Spotify (scoff now but I'll redeem myself later in this here jumble of words) and, lo and behold, Pitchfork for once was not blowing smoke up my ass.
  Let's talk Slayer for a second (any excuse).  Any band that tries to be them has a leg up in my book.  They may fail miserably but at least they fail aspiring to be the best.  Here's the thing, kids, bands like Power Trip and, even more so, Foreseen kind of harken back to pre "Reign In Blood" Slayer.  Maybe it's just a product of budgets but there's some sweet "Hell Awaits" reverb happening all over the place on "Helsinki Savagery".  AND IT IS AWESOME.  I have quite vivid memories of throwing on "Hell Awaits" for the first time and freaking the fuck out.  After the rising creepiness of the backwards "join us join us" chant confused my 15 year old (and let's be honest, easily confused) brain, the slow echoe-y drums made me look this way before the fastest riff I'd ever heard made me look the other.  "Hell Awaits" is 37 minutes of creepy ass metal buried in echoes and reverb.  Rick Rubin would dry their sound up into the Slayer y'all know and love and for the longest time the first couple Slayer albums got pushed aside in favor of the monolith of riffs from the golden age ("Reign In Blood", "South Of Heaven", "Seasons In The Abyss").  However, lately I've been diving back into the oldies and loving them for all their unrefined dirtiness. 
  "Helsinki Savagery" isn't Slayer by the numbers, mind you, but it exists in the Slayer universe (Beyond just the reverb.  Listen to the opening riff of "Paving The Way" and you will certainly hear "Black Magic").  However, like Power Trip, Foreseen are more crossover than thrash.  Power Trip, however, lean punk rock whereas Forseen lean hardcore.  I tend to bore of hardcore but Foreseen lean ever so gently (mostly through gang and Cro-Mags like vocals) and, holy shit, can they write a mosh part.  If there's one thing your dear reviewer likes it's a well executed mosh part.  This record is peppered with them, the first of which (on "Death Injection") sounds like it is proceeded by a hocked loogie.  "You had me at hocked" is what I'm sure you are thinking.  Perhaps the best thing I can say about this record is that it's a grower.  Upon first listen, I was really digging the sound and pure ballsiness of it.  But the more I threw it on, the more individual songs started to stand out.  Look, it's possible to love albums where all songs bleed together but an album really rises up when little differences rear their head after a few listens.  This listen, while writing these words down, was downright rotten in the best way.  And was followed by me starting it over again (and then throwing on "Show No Mercy"). 
  Oh, I said I'd redeem myself.  Welp, I went out to Oakland a few weeks ago and met up with old Greg and Val and they took me to 1-2-3-4 Go! Records where I grabbed up a copy of this on vinyl.  I mean, look at that cover.  15 year old me would have snapped it up without hearing a single riff.  44 year old me is a bit more cautious with my money but is more than willing to support a rad band and equally rad record store.  Seriously, if you are in the Bay Area, go check it out.  It's a more than welcome addition to my beloved Oakland.  So not only does this record rule on its own merits, it also has a sweet little context within which to live.  You don't need context mind you, just a love of, say it with me, THE ALMIGHTY RIFF!!!!!

HARD SKIN...DO YOU LIKE HOSPITAL FOOD

If you have not heard Hard Skin before I suggest you check out their whole collection, It’s all solid Oi and will not disappoint.  I saw Hard Skin 3 years ago in Philly and last year twice in one day.  Every time I have seen them they sounded great, played songs from all of their records, and by the time they’re done playing they leave you remembering not to take life so seriously.  This band takes influence from early Sham 69, cockney rejects, and some Angelic Upstarts, mash that all together with a good working class anthem will basically give you this band.  Something different about Hard Skin is that they are a very liberal Oi group that pokes fun at right wing politics and opinions, which is yet another reason why if you get a chance to see em live, you gotta.

            This latest record will get your foot stomping and head bobbing in no time.  This record has songs about going back on the bottle, how they don’t care who you are and they’re proud to be who they are, and about having their car nicked.  It’s similar their past releases is still spot on!  It’s straight forward good Oi with great sing along parts and a very positive feel to it. Go buy it!!!

http://xwhatwedoissecretx.blogspot.com/2014/12/hard-skin-do-you-like-hospital-food-12.html

Judas Priest--Redeemer Of Souls

 

  Screw it.  I maybe teased this awhile ago and maybe you're thinking "didn't this come out in July?" (although most likely you are thinking "You really think we know when a Judas Priest album came out, Ross?  I'm just reading this because you linked to it 5 times").  Look, I've got a few things to say to what I just told you you were thinking.  First, thanks.  Second, have you not figured out that my reviews are just thinly veiled ramblings on my relationship with music?  Third, how many times have you loved an album for awhile only to find yourself never going back to it?  Well, dear friends, I have now spent many months with this slab of metal and can honestly say that it continues to make its way into my speakers.  It is safe to stand up and declare that the Priest have made a surprisingly good record that fits pretty snugly into their back catalog. 
  That back catalog?  Man, these guys have created masterpieces and dogs alike (sometimes within the same album).  "Screaming for Vengeance" was my first taste and, at 13'ish, it seemed like the heaviest substance on Earth ('The Hellion' may still be the best intro to any album), and I easily followed them through "Defenders of the Faith".  Saw them on that tour, even.  I can't listen to either of those records anymore.  I've grown backwards, Benjamin Button style, with these guys.  The older records sounded too small and rock 'n' roll for my burgeoning metalhead self of 14.  Now they sound like dark classics.  It's almost as if, in the early 80's, the Priest were dumbing themselves down to meet me and my friends on our level and now, all grown up and metal smart, I've come around to their early stuff.  Suddenly, in 2014, we are meeting as peers.  Yes I do believe their career has revolved around me.  You have evidence to the contrary?
  Why do I dig this record so much?  You do ask good questions, Greg.  It feels like Priest (minus Glenn Tipton unfortunately.  That hair!) just set out to make a solid piece of metal without any of the trappings of sounding current or making some misguided epic ("Nostradamus".  Yeesh).  I think that is easier said than done as Priest have been all over the map stylistically.  Are they the Bowie of metal?  Give me another 1000 words and I can probably talk myself into believing that.  So how do you make a classic Priest album?  You say "fuck it" and just write song after song revolving around massive, galloping riffs and bare chested mountain top choruses.  You keep it stripped down to the basics but still sound larger than life.  And you just let Rob Halford take care of the rest.  Holy crap does Halford sound amazing. 
   Highlights for the lazy?  Let's see.  Try 'Halls of Valhalla' out and see if you aren't ready to fight to the death.  I'm listening right now and I have to stop typing from time to time to hit that air ride cymbal to my right.  I feel no shame.  Heck, Priest even out Sabbaths Sabbath by throwing in a li'l blues with "Crossfire".  Right, you know and I know but maybe Greg doesn't know that Priest brought metal to its most recognizably metal by eliminating the blues.  Sabbath are clearly the first metal band but they were still using a blues template.  By eliminating the blues, Priest gave metal its metallic edge.  In fact, most of the early 80's speed metal stylistically stemmed from what Priest were doing more than Sabbath.  Slayer's "Show No Mercy" is basically Priest played 4 times faster.  What was I talking about?  Who cares.  Let's talk "Metalizer", possible my favorite song of the year.  It may have earned that honor on name alone.  That said, it kind of distills all things metal into one tidy bundle: crazy fast riffing, double bass drumming, and Halford alternating between high pitched screaming and deep throated (no pun intended) guttural singing.  And and and....it's called Metalizer and is about, I'm guessing, a guy who metalizes?  No matter, I can't get enough of this song, man. 
  Oh look, this actually came out like a review more than I intended.  Great.  I think in my head I assumed it was going to be about me being old and into metal and how comforting it is when a band you've worn like an old shoe for years pops up and blows your mind unexpectedly.  I think at this point you guys can just read all that subtext between the lines without having me shove it down your throat (no pun intended).  Just know I never really expected to put another Priest record into the rotation but I'm just as inclined to put on "Redeemer of Souls" as "Stained Class" now.  And, heck, I'd say that's pretty cool.

Best of 2014 by Paymon Jestan

When I sit down and think about it, I can't stand 'best of' lists. I think it's because most of the time they come from the pretentious douche-pickles at Pitchfork or Rolling Stone, who have bad taste and wouldn't know what good music was if it snuck up behind them and bit 'em in the ass. Especially when it comes to various forms of Heavy Metal. They tend to plug their assholes with their thumbs and jerk off over what bands like Deafheaven are coming out with next. When starting this thing, I said to myself I didn't want to be like Pitchfork and pretend like my taste trumps everyone else's. However, I've grown tired of said places being the overall authority of what 'good', new music is. So fuck it.

Anyways, I digress. I barely take time out of my schedule to write about this stuff but I felt obligated to myself to make this irrelevant best-of list.

Here's my list of good things that came out this past year:

Amulet - The First
Barrow Wight - Power From the East
Black Magic - Wizard's Spell
Obscure Burial - Epiphany
Pilgrim - II: Void Worship
Morbus Chron - Sweven
Nightmare City - Nightmare Tape
Nunslaughter - Angelic Dread
Ranger - Shock Skull
Stone Dagger - Siege of Jerusalem 
Vampire - Vampire

WETBRAIN s/t LP

WETBRAIN s/t LP

The first time I heard this band was right after they played in Chicago, I had to work the night of the show but heard that there was a member of Annihilation Time and the h100’s in the band so I really wanted to check it out.  I listened to their demo shortly after and really liked it, It opened up with a Plasmatics cover which really got me hooked.  The band I was in GLOV got to play with Wetbrain in Columbus about a year after and it was awesome, all the guys were high energy, the singer had long hair and they sounded spot on.  After seeing them I was excited to see what they were going to come out with next, which is this self titled LP…  The best way to describe this band is if Thin Lizzy drank a bottle of jack, did a bunch of speed and wanted to sound like Black Flag.  There are some driving straight forward hardcore songs that are truly ripping and the other songs a re still fast paced but they also have some ripping guitar solos and breakdowns.  The breakdowns that this band has are not moshey at all, they are obviously influenced by straight forward rock and roll and have their own unique sound.  This brecord is very well done and has all aspects of punk that I love including snotty ass vocals that stand out when compared to the current state of many front people just screaming...

here is a link to their facebook where you can hear songs from the LP...

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wetbrain-Cleveland/469652553077378

Wishgift--Folk Twain EP

  Let's call this one "better late than never".  Why, you ask?  Well, Greg, because this EP is from 2011.  So why are you bothering us with it now?  Look, Greg, what's with the third degree?!  I'm bringing it up now, if you must know, because Wishgift just appeared on my radar.  You see, I went to see Oozing Wound at Cole's the other night (funny story, I didn't end up staying for the Wound.  More on that later?  Let's see where this goes first, Greg.) and Wishgift were one of the opening bands.  As always, remember that I'm coming at all of this as a 44 year old man.  Sure, I'm desperately trying to maintain my "cool" but not generally at the expense of late nights in bars watching bands I've never heard of.
  So, there was Wishgift, band 2 of 4.  I was feeling pretty good about myself (two whiskeys deep, of the two I can handle to drink) and these guys just kind of blew me away.  To be clear, it takes a lot to blow me away now.  They played hard, heavy, tricky, contorted tunes that were part punk, part prog, part post rock, and part metal.  There, I listed genres.  However you want to label them, Greg, their songs totally ripped and I was into it.
  Here's a shout out to Den and Foul Tip who were also both awesome and, due to their awesomeness, kind of allowed me to slip on out before Oozing Wound because I was hot, tired, thirsty, a tad drunk (remember, two whole whiskeys), and, most importantly, 44.  I'd seen three rad bands for free and was a 40 minute bike ride from home.  You do the math.
  Upon arriving home, I immediately ordered the Den record thinking I was ordering the Wishgift record.  I had a hard time all night knowing who was who.  That's cool, I liked Den and you'll probably be reading about them in this here blog soon enough.  Wits more about me, I found Wishgift's bandcamp page and bought the EP I'm sort of about to talk about.  As far as I can tell, it's the most recent slab of music they offer.  Hopefully, that'll change soon enough.  It's a mere 5 songs and 19 minutes, although the songs are so chalk full of ideas, time changes, and general weirdness, the whole thing feels longer.  Two influences they site seem to sum things up well enough: Jesus Lizard and King Krimson.  Manic and heavy.  But this isn't just a cacophony of sounds, these are well thought out, paced, and played songs.  It's easy to over think this stuff and lose sight of the fact that it's fun when songs stick in the brain.  Wishgift are smart and they use these smarts to maintain the rock while throwing a bunch of shit your way.  I might be three years late and maybe you knew all this already.  If so, sorry to have wasted your time.  If not, though, I'm just glad to spread the word.
  Get the EP here